


and when we go crashing down, we come back every time

by podpayned (sophiielaurenn)



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-04
Updated: 2019-05-04
Packaged: 2020-02-18 16:36:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18703378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sophiielaurenn/pseuds/podpayned
Summary: After the matter, he will say it started with her ribbon around his wrist in favour, and her eyes staring imploringly into his, demanding that he comes back when the fighting is done. He thinks he ought to say that fate does not allow for guarantees, that there are better fighters than he out there who her hope would rest more firmly on, that it’s foolish to expect a squire to come home. He doesn’t say any of those things.





	and when we go crashing down, we come back every time

**Author's Note:**

> So, this happened.

After the matter, he will say it started with her ribbon around his wrist in favour, and her eyes staring imploringly into his, demanding that he comes back when the fighting is done. He thinks he ought to say that fate does not allow for guarantees, that there are better fighters than he out there who her hope would rest more firmly on, that it’s foolish to expect a squire to come home. He doesn’t say any of those things.

Instead, he swallows down thick the lump that forms in his throat and curves his lips into what he hopes looks like a smile. He takes her hand ― for what good is propriety when death is knocking? ― and speaks simple words. 

“As you wish it, My Lady.”

After the matter, when he says it began that eve before death crawled over her home, there will be a strange tug in his stomach that reminds him that this love started years before. It began when she was married to his Lord in Kings Landing, and then again when she was married once more and they took her to Castle Black. It began when he realised that he would have taken every inch of pain just to see her smile once more. 

Sansa Stark doesn’t need his thoughts of taking her pain to her, and dedicating his life to the smile she wears when she thinks no one is watching, but he’d offer them anyway. She has lost so much, and when he stands on the forefront of the war, he remembers his promise to not be another loss. She won’t weep for him. 

The battle is harder than he has ever known, hoards of the dead coming endlessly until he swears he shall become one of them. Hope seems lost in every moment, and it is when his back pushes up against the wall that he realises: He cannot break his promise. No matter the weariness that comes through his body, no matter that he thinks it would be easier to accept death now. He won’t leave her if he can help it.

He has always been a man of protection, always fought better when there’s a matter he is fighting for, and he would protect her people, protect her home, protect her, with every inch of strength he has left. And so his arms keep moving, the ribbon on his wrist still burning in memory of all he goes back to. A place in the world, and the most lovely lady in it to serve. If that is his life, he’s thankful for it.

When the battle is done, he thinks legs will give way, body swaying and exhaustion worn evident in him. He can only think of the collapse, until he hears whispers of the crypts. Smarter men than him didn’t consider such a thing, but still he’s cursing as he breaks off again, storming downwards. In all his thoughts that he wouldn’t make it back to her, he hadn’t considered that she wouldn’t make it back to him. Panic rises, and he doesn’t know how he knows the way, except for the ribbon sitting still on his wrist demanding his attention.

He sees her, and legs almost give out. Relief spins through him leaving him dizzy, and he doesn’t know what he ought to do now. What good is a squire in love with his Lady? It’s laughable, when she will go on to better men than he, and he will love her anyway. 

And then she’s in his arms, before he knows she was coming, and her lips hover inches away from his, and all thoughts of keeping his mind are lost because how could he love any other when she stands in existence? Relief mingles with love, and love with desire, and he’s holding her closer than he should, but she doesn’t seem to mind it.

And when she says “Kiss me.”, like she knows he’ll follow her to the end of the world in a heartbeat, he can’t think of any reason to say no. 

“As you wish it, My Lady.”


End file.
